Cry and Share: Processing Big Feelings Through Tears and Connection

Introduction

If your child connected with the moment in “I Want a Popsicle!: A Story About Dealing with Anger” when Eden learns it’s okay to cry and talk about her feelings, you’re not alone. As an Asian mom and psychologist, I know how hard it can be to embrace the idea that crying is a healthy way to process emotions. Many of us grew up with messages like “Stop crying” or “Be strong,” which made expressing emotions feel uncomfortable.

But the truth is, allowing kids to cry and share their feelings teaches them that all emotions are valid. In this post, we’ll explore why tears can be a powerful release, how to support your child in expressing their feelings, and how this strategy builds emotional resilience.

Why Crying and Sharing Helps Kids Process Emotions

Crying is the body’s natural way of releasing pent-up energy and stress. For children, who often don’t have the words to fully explain their emotions, crying can serve as a first step toward understanding and processing their feelings. Here’s why it matters:

• Emotional Release: Tears help reduce emotional intensity and make kids feel calmer afterward.

• Validation of Feelings: Allowing children to cry sends the message that their emotions are normal and acceptable.

• Connection Through Sharing: When kids feel safe crying in front of a trusted adult, it strengthens the bond and builds emotional trust.

 

In “I Want a Popsicle!”, Eden’s dad models this by saying, “It’s okay to cry and tell someone about your feelings.” This simple reassurance helps Eden feel safe expressing herself.

How to Support Crying and Sharing

Here are practical ways to encourage this coping mechanism at home, inspired by Eden’s story:

1. Acknowledge the Feeling

• When your child starts to cry, validate their emotions: “I see you’re really upset. It’s okay to feel this way.”

• Avoid saying “Don’t cry” or “Calm down,” which might make them feel ashamed of their feelings.

2. Be Present

• Sit with them and offer physical comfort, like a hug or holding their hand.

• Let them cry without rushing to stop it or distract them.

3. Encourage Sharing

• Once they’ve calmed down a bit, invite them to talk: “Do you want to tell me what’s making you feel this way?”

• Use open-ended questions: “What made you upset? What can we do to feel better?”

4. Reassure Unconditional Love

• Remind them, as Eden’s dad does: “We love you no matter how you feel.”

When to Use This Strategy

Encouraging tears and sharing can be especially helpful in these situations:

• After a Disappointment: Whether it’s not getting a treat or losing a game, crying can help release the frustration.

• During Transitions: Big changes like starting school or moving can bring up overwhelming feelings.

• In Conflicts: After an argument or sibling disagreement, crying can pave the way for reconciliation.

Cultural Reflection: Breaking the Taboo Around Tears

In many Asian households, crying is often seen as a sign of weakness or something to suppress. But as a mom and psychologist, I’ve learned that tears are a natural and healthy response to emotions. By teaching our children that it’s okay to cry, we’re helping them unlearn these stigmas and develop a healthier relationship with their feelings.

For me, this has been a journey. When my daughter cries, my first instinct is still to comfort her quickly and “fix” the problem. But I remind myself that sitting with her tears and letting her express herself fully is what she truly needs.

Conclusion

Crying isn’t just okay—it’s an important part of emotional growth. By encouraging your child to cry and share their feelings, you’re helping them learn that emotions are nothing to be afraid of. You’re also teaching them that no matter how they feel, they’re loved and supported.

How has your family been using this strategy since reading “I Want a Popsicle!”? I’d love to hear your stories—share them in the comments or tag me on social media!